my audhd dance

Today, I reflected on how on a “routine day” my autism is at peace and lets the ADHD run free for little things. 

Example: If I didn’t get my clothes ready in the evening, it will be fine. The extroverted free part of me will deal with that. If my breakfast time differ of a bit it’s ok, because I know that I am going to eat “my” same food. 

But as soon as I have a different day from the norm, autism needs to take over and drive. I need to control, plan and organise as many things as possible to control the anxiety of “what happens if?”. 

I am good at those executive functions in these circumstances because I HAVE TO if I want to keep myself calm. Everything is ready the night before: clothes, sentences, options, free exits, steps, times. 

Example: I carefully plan my journey to make sure both my sides of the brain are satisfied: I never look at when to arrive on google map, but always select “time of arrival” instead and plan it backwards. To be there at this time I need to leave at this time. But I will also check the earlier time and the one before that. You never know: I might be late and ADHD me will get overwhelmed and late. So, autistic me needs to know when it is the lates time we can leave to be still on time - so it can be the nagging sound in my brain to keep me on track. 

I would say it is a balanced dance and I often feel grateful for how (sometimes!) they manage to save each other and work as a team. 

Knowing how my brain works help me to lean on the strengths of both sides of my brain. 

And now I know one more thing: as far as I plan, I can improvise. 

It’s a win-win 😊